Uncategorised

Mortality is Weird

I felt like I hardly slept at all last night. I just laid in bed feeling like I was awake all night, but my watch and phone insisted that I got a good night’s rest. I didn’t feel groggy when I got up, and we made it to work a little early. I brought along a Soylent for breakfast and my leftover Subway sandwich for lunch in an effort to save money and my health. I felt surprisingly good all day, and kept pretty busy.

Things got pretty quiet upstairs with Janice out. I don’t think anybody said anything to me all morning, and the guys left in the afternoon after I had eaten. I did step outside after lunch to give Muad’Dib some air, and decided to install my headliner to block the sun and try to keep my car a bit cooler in the summer.

Joel reminded me that we had our Traverse call in the afternoon, so I made it upstairs just in time for that. Having my phone muted lately has me missing most of my notifications, but I’ve also got notification fatigue from all the noise coming through. I’ll have to work in finding a balance.

Later in the afternoon, Elizabeth called me down for some help, but she was the only other face I saw the rest of the day until we stopped by Superfast to see Summer when we got back to town. She was just finishing up, and then we came home where I ate some leftover spaghetti squash casserole by myself.

I took Muad’Dib for a run to the Neighborhood Market to drop off some recycling, and he did great. It was probably our best run of the year, and I couldn’t say why. It was nice outside, but not as cold it normally has to be for him to get super excited. He even sat outside the store and waited for me while I deposited the recycling. We trimmed a couple blocks off of our usual path to see my parents, and then Eaddie called for advice on washing her floor mats at the carwash. While I was there, Julie called my parents from the beach, so I popped in to say hi before heading home.

When we made it back to the house, Summer and I finished the Kevin Hart roast before she went to bed. I was still feeling pretty good, but when I went to my office to try and recover my lost tab session, I started to really space out. I felt lost and confused, and I felt like I couldn’t remember things. It was like I knew I had a history of anxiety attacks, but I couldn’t remember what they were like. I was really disoriented for a while, and it was pretty scary because I just didn’t understand what was going on.

I took my blood pressure a couple of times, and it was a little bit high at first, but fine the second time. I slowly came out of the fog, but it was super strange. I don’t know if it was some new health concern, or maybe just the anxiety plus a lack of good sleep, but I just felt lost. I could hear Eaddie coming home and I knew where I was, but it was like my memory of everything was cloudy. All total, I think it took about two hours for me to recover from whatever that was, and then I went to sleep.

Let’s try extra hard to wake up this time.

Uncategorised

Unseasonably Stressed

I tried to relax coming in to work, but we had a staff meeting first thing in the morning. That went okay, and then I brought my stuff downstairs to work with Tammy for a bit. I didn’t feel bad up to that point, but then I had an anxiety attack while I was kneeling next to her at her desk. I was able to quickly log it in my spreadsheet, but I asked later and she said she didn’t notice anything strange about my breathing or anything.

I was a little foggy for a bit after that. I wasn’t super hungry at lunch time, so I grabbed the Soylent I didn’t drink in the morning and carried it outside for a walk to see if I could stir up an appetite. We did a short lap before I decided to grab some Subway, and brought it back to the office to eat.

I managed to get the price sheet updated in HubSpot, though it took me a couple tries because it didn’t properly check all of my import rows. Things got quiet in the afternoon and we wrapped up helping downstairs for a bit before heading home.

As we got close to town, I decided to stop by AT&T to give Kevin a gift I had for him. I chatted with him, which jogged my memory about having anxiety issues due to anemia. I decided to start taking iron again before my next checkup at the clinic, to see if that would help. After he left, I talked to Candice for a little bit before heading home. We just barely beat Summer to the house, and I told her that talking about red meat had me craving a steak, but she wasn’t very hungry.

We ended up going to Ridgeewood Brothers so Muad’Dib could sit outside with us. It was a nice evening for it, and I wish I had felt better, but I didn’t feel awful. We ate, and of course Muad’Dib got some “scraps.” Then I took him for a short run when we got back home.

It was a rush to get in bed after that. With any luck, it’s the lack of sleep and iron getting me down, but something’s got to change. I don’t feel right.

Outside, in the distance, a wildcat did growl.

Uncategorised

Delivery Wheel

I had a Soylent this morning to see if keeping things nutritious would help me feel better, and at the very least it didn’t hurt. Consciously breathing hasn’t been great fun either, but it might help. I had a cup of hot tea instead of coffee, and just kept busy.

McDonald’s pushed a notification for $2 McNuggets yesterday and said the deal wouldn’t expire until the end of the month, but I couldn’t find that deal anywhere. We ended up going to Sonic for a pretty cheap, small lunch. I still felt fairly hungry but didn’t want to overdo it either, so I went to Harp’s to browse a bit and picked up a couple tuna snack kits just in case.

The afternoon was a little dull until quitting time. I tried to gather notes for the staff meeting in the morning, and then I headed home to find Summer where she had been all day, not feeling well. She wanted me to pick up pizza for dinner, so I ordered some Domino’s and took Muad’Dib on a run down the hill to the new restaurant. He got lots of pets from a couple of the girls there, and then we headed home to eat.

After dinner, I took him to see my parents briefly, and them came back home to quickly wrap things up for bed.

Preferably, the backup solution would work.

Uncategorised

ANX

I didn’t feel great for a lot of today. We made it to work and I distributed a bunch of dog treats, but within a couple hours I had an anxiety attack in my office. It took me a little bit to shake that off, but sometime later I felt strange like my blood pressure dropped. My heart rate was right around 60, which was unusually low for doing even as little as I was doing. I took my blood pressure, so moving around got my heartrate up, and my pressure wasn’t terrible.

We got up and met Summer at Ortega’s for lunch, and I meant to scale back a bit but didn’t. She wasn’t feeling well either, so she went home with a headache. I finished up the day and tried to stay aware of how I was feeling.

We had therapy after work, but he was tired too. It wasn’t a great session, but I think we decided we could work together well enough to survive on a deserted island. Dwayne asked if we minded wrapping up early, so we left after just half an hour. I got some washer fluid from the lube and then met Summer at home.

I had to pick up a prescription before they closed, so I ran Muad’Dib to the Neighborhood Market on the Onewheel. When we got there, they said they couldn’t fill it because insurance had just filled it at Walgreens, so we raced home and then I drove by myself to Walgreens before they closed. Luckily I was able to get my prescription there, and they even filled it for 90 days instead of 30 like Walmart.

I made it back home where Summer had curled up in bed. I took Muad’Dib for a quick run to my parents’ house to visit for a bit, and then my Onewheel died just as we were a couple blocks from home. I was able to limp it most of the way after walking up a couple small hills. At least this was actually closer to the low end of the battery instead of over 50% like before.

I wrapped things up relatively quickly, but then I lost power to my computer, which broke my Tabs Outliner plugin again, so I lost the past several weeks of history again. I’ll have to fight it later to see if I can recover anything, but sleep calls.

Damned tab hoarding…

Uncategorised

Bumble Fly

I didn’t sleep great last night, but we made it to work and seemed to be rested well enough. Joel was back with Dexter, but he was still too chicken to play. I had a couple things in particular to get done, but otherwise just kept busy. The morning went by pretty quickly, but we were interrupted around lunch time when Julie texted that she messed up her website and email.

We went by Subway to pick up a sandwich, but then ate at the office while I tried to figure out what happened. Evidently ChatGPT directed her to set up a different hosting company, so she messed up her DNS settings. It took a while to come to that conclusion, but I got things straightened out. Verizon was slow to get their DNS updated though, so she had trouble getting her email on her phone all evening.

We made it home to find Summer on the couch. She bathed a little later while Julie came over to get help fixing her phone email. Then I unboxed a bunch of stuff from Vine. As it started to get dark, I knew I had to take Muad’Dib on a run. I cut it short since he hasn’t been very fast for very long lately. We stopped to see my parents, then chatted with Rick for just a second when we passed him on the way home.

Summer was ready for bed, but ate a few leftovers and poked at Julie’s website for a bit. I got WordPress installed, so at least now we’ll have something a little familiar to work with.

It been that day for me. Sit down.

Uncategorised

Family Assembled

We slept in a while today after a long day yesterday. Summer got up, and I followed to make breakfast croissants. Then Eaddie got up and they spent the day together cleaning up the porch and assembling planters I had gotten from Amazon Vine. We originally had plans to have Mother’s Day with Eli’s family, but several of them couldn’t come down, so they wanted to try for another time.

The day went by pretty quickly, but it felt good to get so much done. There’s more to clean up, but we have at least a little more space now than before. We wanted to do something with my mom, but they didn’t want to go out to dinner with everyone else in town, so Summer and I went to Popeye’s to pick up some chicken.

Eaddie went to visit her grandparents while we waited in the longest line I’d ever seen at that restaurant. The drive-through was wrapped around the building and there was another line inside, but they did a fantastic job of working through all the orders.

We made it to my parents’ house, and then Julie responded that they had been napping all day, but they’d end up coming to visit. Eaddie showed up late as well, so we didn’t wait for her to eat. It was a good time, and then Eaddie took Summer home. I followed a little later and let Muad’Dib run off some energy before driving him the last couple blocks.

We ended the evening watching some of the Kevin Hart roast on Netflix, but we didn’t start early enough to finish it. I was proud of Summer for staying up as late as she did, but we had to get sleep before work.

Motherhood takes many forms.

Uncategorised

Sad Grad

Summer got up early for Run Like Yell in Dardanelle. I originally said I would go, but she insisted that I didn’t have to, and I didn’t sleep great. Of course I couldn’t really sleep after she left, so I got up and made myself a croissant sandwich. I burned the bread and set off the alarms, and then Eaddie got up and left to play at graduation. After that, I repotted a plant and watered the rest. Summer showered, then I followed suit before we left to meet the girls at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Muad’Dib did reasonably well there, and we stuffed ourselves with junk food again. Autumn fussed about not being able to eat much, and then about her relationship, so the conversation started going in circles a bit. I tried not to be too involved, but it really served as a reminder of the past drama we always had to endure. Eaddie showed up late after rehearsal, ate a bit, and then I think she left with Autumn while Summer and I took Muad’Dib to stay with my parents.

It didn’t take Muad’Dib long to break out of the back yard, and then Summer kept calling at him to go back, which of course drew him to jump on my car. I yelled about it, so she got quite for a while. We made it to graduation nearly an hour early and found seats in the second row. It wasn’t terribly long after everything finally started that I got an alert that Muad’Dib had left his safe zone.

I panicked and got up to call Dad, who didn’t answer. Mom answered, but didn’t have a clue where he was. I couldn’t tell if Dad had taken him out for a walk or if he had left to look for him. I also couldn’t send a screenshot of the GPS location because my phone got hot and started acting jittery. I got most of the way back to the car when the location finally updated to show Muad’Dib back near my parents’ house, but Dad still wasn’t answering. I waited a while and eventually felt good enough to go back inside.

We watched Autumn walk, and Summer kept yelling at other people she recognized. I kept feeling like she needed to go back to education if she wanted to feel happy about that kind of stuff again, but we’ve also gotten used to bigger paychecks.

They finally wrapped things up and we met the girls outside in the sun. I got pretty warm and was annoyed that we kept having to wander around looking for kids that were doing their own family things, and hadn’t asked to meet anywhere in particular. We got some pictures, but Summer wanted specific group shots. I ended up sitting in the car for some of that. When the girls all finally caught up with one another, she called me to drive over to them. Then Autumn started fussing about Adam some more. I said my peace and then wandered off to chase my car, which was driving around on “Smart” Summon in an annoying pattern without crossing parking lines.

I finally got Summer into the car, and the kids allegedly left to go meet up with Noah. I dropped Summer off at home so she could rest before going to a team meeting at work, and then took the Onewheel to retrieve Muad’Dib. We sat inside for a little while, then Mom came out to look at her plants. We helped a very little bit before riding back home. Summer called just as we got there because Autumn wanted to tell me I helped motivate her to break up with Adam. I just told her to keep pushing herself to be better and do the right thing.

Summer eventually made it home and we watched a YouTube video about digging for supercritical geothermal. Then she went to bed and I followed for just a little bit before going off to do my own thing. I was up later than I wanted to be, and had an anxiety attack at one point while playing on my phone. Eaddie eventually made it home near midnight, and then I went to bed as well.

Late night drops!

Uncategorised

Let Off Some Steam

Autopilot was a frustration to and from work today, so I spent both drives disengaging repeatedly so I could record feedback. I figure it looks bad for them to have interrupted or shorter drives, even if I’m one person in the 10 billion self-driving miles driven.

I was surprisingly pretty busy today just helping others, so it felt good to be out of the office a bit. It was a nice day out too, so Muad’Dib and I went to Taco Bell. I ended up not eating all of my food, so I took my burrito for later and finished up the afternoon. Janice left a little early, so it was quiet upstairs.

Eaddie arrived at home just as I did, but then left. Johnny called and I talked to him for a little while. Then Summer showed up and we ate some leftovers. I took Muad’Dib for a late run, and then I got to play with my new Steam Controller for a bit as she went to bed.

A storm blew through pretty quickly with some loud thunder, but it didn’t last. Eaddie came home late and gave me the news that Whattaburger closed for good tonight with little notice. I felt like it went downhill when all the knick knacks disappeared and were replaced with generic pictures of food. It would have been nice to see that kind of stuff make a comeback.

Simpler times had lower standards.

Uncategorised

Apps on Apps

The latest version of Autopilot hasn’t been maintaining speed, which has made my rides a little more annoying. We got in today with an acceptance that modern Outlook simply could not support collaborative contacts. It was difficult to get much traction anywhere else, which made the day drag on a bit. It was cool outside around lunch time, so I decided to let Muad’Dib sit in the car while I got some Wendy’s.

Eaddie and I had been trying to come up with a plan for Mother’s Day, and since she was done with school, I wanted to at least take them to dinner somewhere with Muad’Dib. Summer would actually be home early, so we had a plan.

I left work and actually passed Eaddie on the way home. We arrived together and found Summer just out of the shower, and then we all loaded up to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. They had endless appetizers which, to my surprise, you could mix and match for one price. We went through a few rounds of those and stuffed ourselves on chicken. It was probably the best experience we’ve ever had at Buffalo Wild Wings, ever. Muad’Dib did great, and got some snacks from a table of Eaddie’s friends next to us.

I took Muad’Dib for a chilly run when we got back to the house. We briefly saw my parents, and then Eaddie was gone when we made it back to the house. Summer was in bed, so I wound down quickly for some good sleep to round out the week.

Old school; new school; no school!

Uncategorised

Scanned if You Do; Scanned if You Don’t

I felt mildly rumbly in the tumbly for much of the day, but it wasn’t bad. I brought along another griddle cake sandwich for lunch, which got cold sitting on the table while I chatted with the ladies downstairs for a bit. I ended up down there a lot to resolve some scanning woes, but also to discuss redundancies in processes and other meaningless paperwork nonsense.

What wasn’t spent fighting scanners was spent fighting an utter lack of support from Microsoft for collaborative address booking. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, we found some time between a bit of rain to go to Sonic for a small, quick lunch. I picked up some fries from McDonald’s on the way back because it was a bit too small for me, but Muad’Dib got a handful of those too.

The afternoon was relatively short, and then we made it home after fighting autopilot and its newly developed habit of dropping speed. Summer was making a stuffed spaghetti squash and chicken dinner for us, which was relatively delicious. She had been in her feelings all day, and it never got much better. I ended up having to leave for a run with Muad’Dib after she started fussing about work some more.

Muad’Dib ran exceptionally well because it got quite chilly out. We made it to my parents’ house pretty quickly, but he slowed down a bit just before that. We didn’t visit long before making it home where we found Summer winding down for bed. I got cleaned up and did the same.

S’more o’ that!