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Let’s Talk About It

I knew timing on food would be weird today, so we picked up some Burger King on the way out of town. They gave me the wrong kind of biscuit, but it was alright. When we got to the office, Muad’Dib didn’t want to listen, so he got spanked again in the hallway. That made him a little skittish about following me in there later, so I had to collar him for the rest of the day.

We were up and down the stairs a few times all morning. I brought a croissant sandwich to finish up some leftovers from home, so I ate that just before we left for the day. I raced back to town and met Summer at Beautiful Path for our first couples session. I was only a couple minutes late and she was already inside. I guess he decided to continue sessions off of her existing account when he realized we were together.

The session was about what I expected. Summer wanted to buy a pair of booklets for us to complete, and we played a “Newlyweds” style card game where we flipped cards and answered questions about each other. There were no surprises, and we both did well at the game after eight years together. By the end of it, he had us scheduled for future sessions in person instead of over the phone, which will be fine. We’ll be able to meet after work, which at least leaves my work schedule alone.

Summer went back to work for a little while and then went to the gym while I went to the house to do a little more work. When she got home, we did a minimal amount of cleaning up Christmas stuff that needed to be stored, and then we ate some spaghetti before she bathed. She didn’t feel great after that, so we laid together briefly until she fell asleep. I was up until Eaddie got home, and then it was off to bed myself.

It’s payback time!

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The Cat’s Outta the Fence

I felt a little better this morning, and stayed fairly physically busy all morning trying to make a patch cable out of some crappy, old wire. I went through a couple sets of ends before I gave up in favor of a different option. We went to Arby’s for lunch, and then I called to reserve a room for the Cavalcade of Magic when we got back to the office.

We were parked and sitting in the car, and Muad’Dib and I watched as a cat stalked through the grass on the other side of the fence that divides our property from the Interstate. I was still wrapping up my call when he started whimpering. The cat was out of sight and I thought Muad’Dib had given up, but as soon as I let him out, he ran out the front gate and leapt over a part of the fence that was leaned over. I wasn’t even sure he would be able to get back across due to the way the fence was leaning and how far he jumped. Luckily the cat ran back toward me instead of toward the highway.

They ran toward the building, and then the cat got into the drainage pipe that goes under the road, so luckily Muad’Dib didn’t fit. I got hold of him and gave him a good kick to the rear, then dragged him back to the car to get collared. We went inside and it wasn’t long before we were called down for cake to celebrate Elizabeth’s upcoming wedding.

We surprised her in the breakroom, had cake, and visited briefly before finishing up the afternoon. I got a text that counseling could be in-person tomorrow, so I got permission to leave at lunch time and finish the day from home. We got to the house a little while after Summer, though she was still sitting in her car when we got there. She bathed and I ate some leftovers, and then we watched YouTube as she passed out on the couch.

After she went to bed, I finished the evening filling out a bunch of intake paperwork for tomorrow. For now, it’s more of the same.

At least one of us has laser-focus.

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Make Italian Grate Again

Summer opened this morning and would have to go back to replace the wash belt in the evening, so we had a dinner date planned. My day didn’t go exactly as I planned, and it was still no more productive. I was called to a few issues that I was at least able to mostly resolve.

It was cold out, so we went to McDonald’s for lunch where the manager had come to know me by name. Service was good, but my Big Mac was stale and dry. My first round of fries was good, but when I went back to redeem a free Happy meal out of nostalgia for the Changeables toy, those fries were somehow terrible. The hot honey sauce for the nuggets was divine, but Muad’Dib got the fries. An older gentleman in a suit came and sat by me at the bar just as I was packing up to leave.

The afternoon was full of trips up and down the stairs to troubleshoot a cabling issue, and so far I’ve been pretty annoyed by the quality of the install from Blue Sky. It seems like this is the second instance of some bad termination, but I want to be sure before I start screaming.

Summer wanted Olive Garden for dinner, but on the way home she said Eaddie wanted to go with us, but to Pasta Grill instead. I was truthfully dreading Olive Garden on account of their overpriced and mostly terrible menu, so this was a wonderful change of plans. We drove separately since Summer would have to go back to work, and then Eaddie rode around with me while Summer went in.

We had to get her boots from the house first, and then I took Eaddie to Dairy Queen. It was too cold to sit outside with Muad’Dib, so we headed back to the house where she finished up her school stuff and I cleaned up a bit before bed.

Second best dressed at the Morrilton McDonald’s

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MexiMash

I had been looking forward to lunch at Ortega’s all week. I didn’t really figure Grant would show up, but that was okay. Summer didn’t leave town either, so I just ate alone. I think this may have been my best plate yet, with a tostada, chalupa, chicken enchilada, and chili con queso. I threw some chip crumbs on top, and basically had some epic nachos. I felt a little woozy in the afternoon, but we survived.

Kaleb stopped in for help with some SharePoint nonsense, which still confuses me, but it worked well enough for him. I struggled with some HubSpot reporting for the rest of the afternoon and left no better. We stopped in to Brown’s for a gift card, and then Summer encountered us at the El Paso intersection and followed us to Ridgewood where I got another gift card just from myself.

When we got to the house, Summer and I had a heated conversation about her having to open and then work late again tomorrow to repair a broken belt at the wash. She was told not to go, but insisted that she wanted to, and she didn’t seem to understand how this felt like she was choosing work over family yet again.

We talked a bit, she bathed, and then we sat in front of the TV, flipping through YouTube until bedtime. Nothing else written or discussed, cleaned or dust’.

Wax off.

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Lessons Fought

Eaddie called me a little after midnight, which of course startled us both. I tried to answer, but then she walked around the corner toward the bedroom and said she needed help. Summer jumped up too, but I dressed and followed her outside to investigate. Eli was sitting in the Pathfinder in the driveway right behind my car, and had gotten stuck on the ice slope.

We couldn’t even walk on the ice because it was so slick, so I got a couple containers for the kids to shuttle water back and forth. Eaddie was minimally helpful, and sassed me any time I told her to do anything. Summer eventually came out with my axe and started whaling on the ice to break it up. After a couple hours, we finally got free and climbed out of the driveway. I mentioned Eaddie’s attitude to Summer, and she decided to address it right away before the kids left. Of course Eaddie started crying in frustration, which broke Summer down. I meant for it to be discussed later, but apparently Eaddie had previously expressed wanting to be called out on the spot. They left and Summer and I struggled to go back to sleep.

As tired as I was in the morning, we made it to work for a long day. Rhonda said Muad’Dib had peed on Teddy’s bed in their office, which surprised me since he’s usually right around me. I tried to stay focused, but had a pretty bad anxiety attack in the morning. We got mozzarella sticks from Sonic, then a box from Taco Bell since it actually felt reasonably nice outside. Some old jackass parked crooked next to me, but luckily I could Summon my car out of the spot and load Muad’Dib back in when we left.

The afternoon dragged on a bit, and then we headed home. Janice gave me some money for gift cards from Old South and Brown’s, but the latter would be closed until the next day. The girls were at the house when we got there, but things seemed quiet. Summer bathed and I left to pick up some food. Eaddie denied hunger, but I knew she would eat, so I picked up a bunch of wings from Buffalo Wild Wings, and then a plate from Panda Express. Buffalo Wild Wings was terribly slow, and the boneless wings were terribly small, and of course Panda Express had boxed up my order half an hour before I finally got there.

We all sat down to eat, which was nice, but then Summer quietly summoned me to the bedroom for a talk. I think we both knew Eaddie was really upset that Summer had reversed her decision to get out by the end of the week, but I guess they talked about it and it had them both very bothered. I went to talk to Eaddie about it myself, and I felt like we had a pretty good conversation. Of course I won’t know how she really feels, but hopefully she and Summer can revisit later, and I’m sure we’ll be fine if we can all agree to focus our energy in a positive way.

Eaddie left to practice at Witherspoon, and I rushed to bed without much of a catch-up session with Summer. The less energy we have to spend on catching up for things like this, the better.

Beat the keys out of it.

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All or Nothing

Friday was good until it got bad enough to become good again. I stayed pretty busy at work, but struggled in the afternoon as the girls went looking for houses. I stopped by PetSmart when we got back to town, because I needed something to interrupt how I was feeling, and I got Muad’Dib a bunch of treats. Mark needed some computer help as well, so I stopped to see him for a bit too. When I got home, I managed to sit down and talk with Summer for a long while, and eventually we were able to agree that they would slow down long enough to breathe and catch back up from all the recent heaviness. We’ll give it three months without any more of that added stress, and focus on some therapy and heavy communication to see if we can maintain some momentum with our positive change. Eaddie came around and I took them to Waffle House for a late dinner, and we had a good time.

Eaddie was gone all Saturday, so I took Summer to Cracker Barrel for breakfast. They were depressingly slow compared to Old South, and after eating our food, we figured out why. We went back to PetSmart to use another coupon for some food, and then briefly stepped into T.J. Maxx before making it back to the house. We cleaned up a bit and stayed busy most of the afternoon until we decided to go to New China for dinner. I wanted to stop to see my parents on the way back, and Summer nervously went along. Mom had a surprising amount to say, and Summer came home upset for a while, but we talked a little more before bed and then woke up with clearer thoughts.

Summer got some Spam and I made breakfast sandwiches for the three of us. Eaddie left and Summer went to the gym, and I cleaned up the kitchen. Later on, we walked to Walgreens with Muad’Dib to try and get Summer’s prescription, but they were closed. I eventually warmed up some spaghetti for dinner, and at some point the day before we had started watching Wonderman, so we continued that in the evening until bed.

Document the process and build a roadmap to success.

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But They Were, All of Them, Deceived

Summer went in to open this morning, and I did a pretty good job of staying on task most of the day. I stopped to make an Instant Pot split pea soup for a late lunch, expecting Summer to be home just after one. She texted to have Eaddie get dressed to go pick up her car from Maristella’s, but after they were gone for a while, I saw that they had actually been looking at a couple of rental houses, and never even drove by Maristella’s. I texted, then called, and her response was that they weren’t trying to be deceiving, but discovered the new listings and wanted to check them out while they were in town.

I had to take a break to shower, and then we sat down to talk when they got home. There are just so many layers of trauma to peel back, and we’ll never be able to get through it all alone. I felt like we had a good talk, but Summer hated it. I think if we can at least commit to some therapy, it will go a long way.

Eaddie left with Eli for a while, so Summer and I ate some soup. I sat with her for a while, and tried to comfort her the best I could. For now, we continue to ride the waves.

Tough Nut

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CTRL-Z

I had trouble staying warm today. I got up with Summer as she left for work, and tried my best to focus on just about anything. I ended up taking a long bath to regulate my temperature.

Summer had to stay over three hours late because of call-ins, so I ordered some Domino’s to take to them. I made Eaddie come with me so we could try and get her car from Maristella’s. We got the pizza and went to the wash where there were actually only two of them working. Eaddie and I ate a little bit, though she had just eaten a grilled cheese and tomato soup. Muad’Dib enjoyed getting out and continually whined the entire time he was in the car.

When we left the wash, we went to Walmart to pick up some groceries. Eaddie split off from me to find something for her cross stitching, but couldn’t find what she needed. I just got what I needed for a split pea soup. We slid by Maristella’s on the way back, but they weren’t home, so Eaddie couldn’t get her keys.

When we got back to the house, Nick was outside trying to shovel their driveway. I offered my newly-unboxed snow thrower, which made quick work of their driveway. Muad’Dib enjoyed running around for a bit before we went inside.

I spent the rest of the evening documenting monthly expenditures to present to Summer, since she seemed to feel as though she was being cheated in the way we split our bills. In the end, things worked out even closer than I expected. She got home and bathed, and then I gave her a recap before she went to sleep.

Most of our biggest disappointments with other people come from our expectation that they will handle situations with our mindset, heart, and values.

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Wear

Summer got up to go to work this morning so they could start cleaning up the properties. I was worried she would get stuck in the driveway, but she actually got out just fine. I tried to get things warmed up a little bit in the house, and then started working from home. Eaddie was up and wanted tuna for brunch, so I made a whopping three cans of that for pitas. I eventually got cleaned up, and I thought Summer was going to pick up some groceries so I could make a split pea soup, but that didn’t happen.

By the time she got home, Summer just wanted to bathe and watch TV. I made some rice to go with the leftover chicken and vegetables, and warmed up the spaghetti for the girls. They watched Storm Chasers for a bit, and then I followed Summer to the bedroom where she watched Jungle Cruise. Afterward I tried talking with her some more, but she just started getting really negative again, and I couldn’t break her out of it.

I went to my office for a while to wrap up the evening, and had an anxiety attack just as I was getting ready to go to bed.

because an echo is always followed by silence.

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Never Stop Never Stopping

I slept in a little bit since I would be working from home today in the ice. Summer got up and made us corned beef hash for breakfast. Eaddie was eventually dropped back off at home, so the girls sat in the living room cross stitching all day.

Dad went out sledding, so Muad’Dib and I walked his direction and encountered him walking toward us. He went down a couple good hills, and Muad’Dib had a good run. We encountered a flock of children out doing the same, and before long I had to get back to work.

Summer eventually started on some tomato soup and grilled cheese sandwiches for dinner, and then Eaddie wanted to watch something that wasn’t funny or serious, so I put on the crab rave video. I think that pretty much nailed the assignment, but then we watched Popstar: Never Stop Never Stopping. Eaddie and I found it to be pretty funny, but Summer went through the whole movie with a contorted face.

After that, Eaddie baked some brownies and we all went to bed.

Mania