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ANX

I didn’t feel great for a lot of today. We made it to work and I distributed a bunch of dog treats, but within a couple hours I had an anxiety attack in my office. It took me a little bit to shake that off, but sometime later I felt strange like my blood pressure dropped. My heart rate was right around 60, which was unusually low for doing even as little as I was doing. I took my blood pressure, so moving around got my heartrate up, and my pressure wasn’t terrible.

We got up and met Summer at Ortega’s for lunch, and I meant to scale back a bit but didn’t. She wasn’t feeling well either, so she went home with a headache. I finished up the day and tried to stay aware of how I was feeling.

We had therapy after work, but he was tired too. It wasn’t a great session, but I think we decided we could work together well enough to survive on a deserted island. Dwayne asked if we minded wrapping up early, so we left after just half an hour. I got some washer fluid from the lube and then met Summer at home.

I had to pick up a prescription before they closed, so I ran Muad’Dib to the Neighborhood Market on the Onewheel. When we got there, they said they couldn’t fill it because insurance had just filled it at Walgreens, so we raced home and then I drove by myself to Walgreens before they closed. Luckily I was able to get my prescription there, and they even filled it for 90 days instead of 30 like Walmart.

I made it back home where Summer had curled up in bed. I took Muad’Dib for a quick run to my parents’ house to visit for a bit, and then my Onewheel died just as we were a couple blocks from home. I was able to limp it most of the way after walking up a couple small hills. At least this was actually closer to the low end of the battery instead of over 50% like before.

I wrapped things up relatively quickly, but then I lost power to my computer, which broke my Tabs Outliner plugin again, so I lost the past several weeks of history again. I’ll have to fight it later to see if I can recover anything, but sleep calls.

Damned tab hoarding…

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Bumble Fly

I didn’t sleep great last night, but we made it to work and seemed to be rested well enough. Joel was back with Dexter, but he was still too chicken to play. I had a couple things in particular to get done, but otherwise just kept busy. The morning went by pretty quickly, but we were interrupted around lunch time when Julie texted that she messed up her website and email.

We went by Subway to pick up a sandwich, but then ate at the office while I tried to figure out what happened. Evidently ChatGPT directed her to set up a different hosting company, so she messed up her DNS settings. It took a while to come to that conclusion, but I got things straightened out. Verizon was slow to get their DNS updated though, so she had trouble getting her email on her phone all evening.

We made it home to find Summer on the couch. She bathed a little later while Julie came over to get help fixing her phone email. Then I unboxed a bunch of stuff from Vine. As it started to get dark, I knew I had to take Muad’Dib on a run. I cut it short since he hasn’t been very fast for very long lately. We stopped to see my parents, then chatted with Rick for just a second when we passed him on the way home.

Summer was ready for bed, but ate a few leftovers and poked at Julie’s website for a bit. I got WordPress installed, so at least now we’ll have something a little familiar to work with.

It been that day for me. Sit down.

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Family Assembled

We slept in a while today after a long day yesterday. Summer got up, and I followed to make breakfast croissants. Then Eaddie got up and they spent the day together cleaning up the porch and assembling planters I had gotten from Amazon Vine. We originally had plans to have Mother’s Day with Eli’s family, but several of them couldn’t come down, so they wanted to try for another time.

The day went by pretty quickly, but it felt good to get so much done. There’s more to clean up, but we have at least a little more space now than before. We wanted to do something with my mom, but they didn’t want to go out to dinner with everyone else in town, so Summer and I went to Popeye’s to pick up some chicken.

Eaddie went to visit her grandparents while we waited in the longest line I’d ever seen at that restaurant. The drive-through was wrapped around the building and there was another line inside, but they did a fantastic job of working through all the orders.

We made it to my parents’ house, and then Julie responded that they had been napping all day, but they’d end up coming to visit. Eaddie showed up late as well, so we didn’t wait for her to eat. It was a good time, and then Eaddie took Summer home. I followed a little later and let Muad’Dib run off some energy before driving him the last couple blocks.

We ended the evening watching some of the Kevin Hart roast on Netflix, but we didn’t start early enough to finish it. I was proud of Summer for staying up as late as she did, but we had to get sleep before work.

Motherhood takes many forms.

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Sad Grad

Summer got up early for Run Like Yell in Dardanelle. I originally said I would go, but she insisted that I didn’t have to, and I didn’t sleep great. Of course I couldn’t really sleep after she left, so I got up and made myself a croissant sandwich. I burned the bread and set off the alarms, and then Eaddie got up and left to play at graduation. After that, I repotted a plant and watered the rest. Summer showered, then I followed suit before we left to meet the girls at Buffalo Wild Wings.

Muad’Dib did reasonably well there, and we stuffed ourselves with junk food again. Autumn fussed about not being able to eat much, and then about her relationship, so the conversation started going in circles a bit. I tried not to be too involved, but it really served as a reminder of the past drama we always had to endure. Eaddie showed up late after rehearsal, ate a bit, and then I think she left with Autumn while Summer and I took Muad’Dib to stay with my parents.

It didn’t take Muad’Dib long to break out of the back yard, and then Summer kept calling at him to go back, which of course drew him to jump on my car. I yelled about it, so she got quite for a while. We made it to graduation nearly an hour early and found seats in the second row. It wasn’t terribly long after everything finally started that I got an alert that Muad’Dib had left his safe zone.

I panicked and got up to call Dad, who didn’t answer. Mom answered, but didn’t have a clue where he was. I couldn’t tell if Dad had taken him out for a walk or if he had left to look for him. I also couldn’t send a screenshot of the GPS location because my phone got hot and started acting jittery. I got most of the way back to the car when the location finally updated to show Muad’Dib back near my parents’ house, but Dad still wasn’t answering. I waited a while and eventually felt good enough to go back inside.

We watched Autumn walk, and Summer kept yelling at other people she recognized. I kept feeling like she needed to go back to education if she wanted to feel happy about that kind of stuff again, but we’ve also gotten used to bigger paychecks.

They finally wrapped things up and we met the girls outside in the sun. I got pretty warm and was annoyed that we kept having to wander around looking for kids that were doing their own family things, and hadn’t asked to meet anywhere in particular. We got some pictures, but Summer wanted specific group shots. I ended up sitting in the car for some of that. When the girls all finally caught up with one another, she called me to drive over to them. Then Autumn started fussing about Adam some more. I said my peace and then wandered off to chase my car, which was driving around on “Smart” Summon in an annoying pattern without crossing parking lines.

I finally got Summer into the car, and the kids allegedly left to go meet up with Noah. I dropped Summer off at home so she could rest before going to a team meeting at work, and then took the Onewheel to retrieve Muad’Dib. We sat inside for a little while, then Mom came out to look at her plants. We helped a very little bit before riding back home. Summer called just as we got there because Autumn wanted to tell me I helped motivate her to break up with Adam. I just told her to keep pushing herself to be better and do the right thing.

Summer eventually made it home and we watched a YouTube video about digging for supercritical geothermal. Then she went to bed and I followed for just a little bit before going off to do my own thing. I was up later than I wanted to be, and had an anxiety attack at one point while playing on my phone. Eaddie eventually made it home near midnight, and then I went to bed as well.

Late night drops!

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Let Off Some Steam

Autopilot was a frustration to and from work today, so I spent both drives disengaging repeatedly so I could record feedback. I figure it looks bad for them to have interrupted or shorter drives, even if I’m one person in the 10 billion self-driving miles driven.

I was surprisingly pretty busy today just helping others, so it felt good to be out of the office a bit. It was a nice day out too, so Muad’Dib and I went to Taco Bell. I ended up not eating all of my food, so I took my burrito for later and finished up the afternoon. Janice left a little early, so it was quiet upstairs.

Eaddie arrived at home just as I did, but then left. Johnny called and I talked to him for a little while. Then Summer showed up and we ate some leftovers. I took Muad’Dib for a late run, and then I got to play with my new Steam Controller for a bit as she went to bed.

A storm blew through pretty quickly with some loud thunder, but it didn’t last. Eaddie came home late and gave me the news that Whattaburger closed for good tonight with little notice. I felt like it went downhill when all the knick knacks disappeared and were replaced with generic pictures of food. It would have been nice to see that kind of stuff make a comeback.

Simpler times had lower standards.

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Apps on Apps

The latest version of Autopilot hasn’t been maintaining speed, which has made my rides a little more annoying. We got in today with an acceptance that modern Outlook simply could not support collaborative contacts. It was difficult to get much traction anywhere else, which made the day drag on a bit. It was cool outside around lunch time, so I decided to let Muad’Dib sit in the car while I got some Wendy’s.

Eaddie and I had been trying to come up with a plan for Mother’s Day, and since she was done with school, I wanted to at least take them to dinner somewhere with Muad’Dib. Summer would actually be home early, so we had a plan.

I left work and actually passed Eaddie on the way home. We arrived together and found Summer just out of the shower, and then we all loaded up to go to Buffalo Wild Wings. They had endless appetizers which, to my surprise, you could mix and match for one price. We went through a few rounds of those and stuffed ourselves on chicken. It was probably the best experience we’ve ever had at Buffalo Wild Wings, ever. Muad’Dib did great, and got some snacks from a table of Eaddie’s friends next to us.

I took Muad’Dib for a chilly run when we got back to the house. We briefly saw my parents, and then Eaddie was gone when we made it back to the house. Summer was in bed, so I wound down quickly for some good sleep to round out the week.

Old school; new school; no school!

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Scanned if You Do; Scanned if You Don’t

I felt mildly rumbly in the tumbly for much of the day, but it wasn’t bad. I brought along another griddle cake sandwich for lunch, which got cold sitting on the table while I chatted with the ladies downstairs for a bit. I ended up down there a lot to resolve some scanning woes, but also to discuss redundancies in processes and other meaningless paperwork nonsense.

What wasn’t spent fighting scanners was spent fighting an utter lack of support from Microsoft for collaborative address booking. Somewhere in the middle of all of that, we found some time between a bit of rain to go to Sonic for a small, quick lunch. I picked up some fries from McDonald’s on the way back because it was a bit too small for me, but Muad’Dib got a handful of those too.

The afternoon was relatively short, and then we made it home after fighting autopilot and its newly developed habit of dropping speed. Summer was making a stuffed spaghetti squash and chicken dinner for us, which was relatively delicious. She had been in her feelings all day, and it never got much better. I ended up having to leave for a run with Muad’Dib after she started fussing about work some more.

Muad’Dib ran exceptionally well because it got quite chilly out. We made it to my parents’ house pretty quickly, but he slowed down a bit just before that. We didn’t visit long before making it home where we found Summer winding down for bed. I got cleaned up and did the same.

S’more o’ that!

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May the Fifth Be With You

I had an anxiety attack just as I was getting my backpack out of the car this morning, which makes two days in a row. I haven’t been tracking them for very long, but hopefully it helps the next time I go to the doctor. We got upstairs and things were pretty quiet. I spent all day fighting Microsoft documentation and trying to figure out a good way to create a collaborative address book for certain staff members. Outside of that, Charles had trouble with the network in the maintenance shop, so I had to cycle power to those switches in order so they would come back up without trying to mesh with one another.

We met Summer at Ortega’s, and the board didn’t list their usual all-you-can-eat. Instead, they had a double order of fajitas with a free T-shirt for not much more than we would have spent anyway. We shared that and had leftovers to go. Service was pretty good today too, but I also wasn’t depending on refills either.

The afternoon was more frustration with Microsoft until quitting time. Evidently Microsoft just doesn’t have a good method to collaborate on contacts without a bunch of extra effort, depending on which of the six versions of Outlook you’re using. Summer took Muad’Dib home with her at lunch, so it was quiet and lonely for the last part of the day since Janice left early.

Summer was working and watching TV when I got home. I cleaned up and eventually took Muad’Dib for a run. He did really great for part of it, but got slow about halfway through. I ended up eating spring rolls when we got to my parents’ house, and then tried to wind down quickly back at the house.

~mocha chocolata ya ya~

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Feeling Fishy

I took a frozen pancake sandwich for breakfast this morning, and that worked out pretty well on a budget, but Muad’Dib didn’t get as much. I cued myself up to buy a Steam Controller at launch, but realized a little later that I had inverted my time zone calculation. I had a quick anxiety attack shortly after that. The controller would actually be launching at noon, when I happened to have a call scheduled.

I made it work though, between the call and a couple other little fires I had to put out. I was pretty busy all day. We did get a break to go to Sonic for lunch though. There was a strong, steady wind the whole time, which would have been great for a kite. I didn’t have a kite, but I did have my Onewheel, so I took Muad’Dib for quick run around the plant when we got back to the office.

The afternoon was just as busy until we left. Summer would get home a little after us, so we had some time to clean up before we decided to meet at Sam’s Southern Eatery for dinner. We hadn’t eaten there in quite some time, and just happened to remember that they had a dog-friendly patio, so we decided to give it a shot.

I decided to take the Onewheel at the last minute so Muad’Dib could get more run time in. We nearly made it downtown when I texted Summer, who said she was ready to leave, so we met her just outside Point Remove and she drove us the rest of the way.

Sam’s was pretty dead, with only a couple other tables of patrons. The patio was empty, but they welcomed us to eat out there. It looked like it hadn’t been swept in quite some time, with trash blown in everywhere on the ground. The tables and chairs were clean though, and the food was great in spite of having slightly smaller portions than when they had just opened.

Afterward, we came home and I let Summer bathe while I took Muad’Dib to my parents’ house and back again. He was full of energy, so I didn’t want to keep him cooped up inside any more than I had to. We had a good run, then came in to calm down, clean up, and get to bed.

No, seriously, DON’T PANIC.

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Trimming the Bushes

We slept in a little bit today because Muad’Dib was snuggled up in my arms. The girls got up and hung out for a while without me while I cleaned up a bit. I didn’t feel terrible from the ice cream last night, but I didn’t feel great either. Summer eventually went out to mow while I got showered, and then I made egg and summer sausage croissants for brunch. After we ate, I went out afterward to help trim a bunch of growth around the property. We got rid of most of a tree that had been growing at the corner of the shed, and spent a bunch of time trimming the rose bushes.

While we were out there, I must have gotten overheated in the sun or something, because I felt terrible when we came inside. I just had to sit down for a while to recover while Summer showered. It wasn’t even terribly hot out, but I felt sick.

Summer got some laundry going, and Eaddie went with us to my parents’ house for spring rolls for dinner. Summer had to go to work to let the guys at the wash know that they would have a new manager starting with them this week because she was being assigned solely to the lube. Eaddie and I finished eating, then let Muad’Dib run home next to us. He didn’t really want to come inside, so I took him for a quick run around the block on the Onewheel.

Summer got home, then Eaddie left to shop for some yarn. I cleaned up a little more, and then it was time for bed.

I’m pretty sure I need that to live.